“Alexa. Play "I Am Not My Hair” by India.Arie.”

“I am not my hair

I am not this skin

I am not your expectations,

No, no

I am not my hair

I am not this skin

I am the soul that lives within”

I chose to wear my hair natural in 2004. I did the big chop during the fall semester of my senior year of college. My hair was extremely short, but I embraced my coily, thick hair. India.Arie released the single "I Am Not My Hair” in November 2005. Before going natural I wore my hair relaxed. I wore it proudly straight, in braids, cornrows, two strand twists, french twists, deep waves, finger waves, coils, bantu knots, and more. I expressed myself through my hair with different hairstyles. I loved my hair then and I love it now.

This song was my jam and I would blast it when it played on the radio. I would belt out the lyrics any time I heard the song. I proudly wore my hair in its natural texture. I believed this song was for me and it was on a few different mp3 mixes that I curated during that time. Of course I added “I Am Not My Hair” to a playlist that was burned to a CD. Also, I added the song to my iPod Shuffle. I still have this iPod Shuffle which is a first generation. I connected with this song instantly. “I am not your expectations…I am the soul that lives within.” These lines from the song stuck with me. I love my hair but I am more than my hair. I am a daughter, sister, friend, wife, mom, teacher, mentor, crocheter, home chef, reader, writer, and more. 

Currently I wear my hair in locs. I started my loc journey in January 2020. Before chemotherapy, I had 130 locs and after 8 chemo treatments, 127 were left. I cut 3 locs off that were barely making it. The locs were thinning near my scalp and they had to go. I cut the thinning locs off. I wanted to save them so I placed them in a Ziploc. I did not want chemo to take all my hair. I did not want to be reminded of breast cancer every time I looked in the mirror. I heard chemo burns a patient’s hair off. That sounded scary to me and I expressed my hair concerns early on with my doctors.

“Chemotherapy-induced alopecia is an unwelcome reminder of disease, one that can negatively affect self-image, confidence, overall sense of well-being and a patient’s attitude toward treatment.” (DigniCap). Dr K and Dr S told me about DigniCap, a cooling cap that I could wear during chemo treatments.  This cap would minimize hair loss and was the perfect solution for me. Unfortunately, the DigniCap is not covered by insurance. But, I would receive the DigniCap through a grant with a local cancer foundation. Thank you!!!!! During my education session with my nurse practitioner, I was told that I would lose hair in other areas on my body. “Expect heavy shedding of hair on the body around week 3.” I did have some heavy shedding  in places that will remain nameless. I have not lost much hair on top of my head thanks to the DigniCap. I have had minor hair thinning along my front hairline. I am so happy that I can wear my hair, my crown during chemo. I am way more than a cancer diagnosis. I chose to live life.

It’s Super Bowl Sunday. Two huge games are happening today. The LSU Lady Tigers basketball team will play South Carolina. Both teams are undefeated! By the time you read this post, I hope the Lady Tigers are still undefeated. Geaux Tigers! Also, the Kansas City Chiefs will play the Philadelphia Eagles in the Super Bowl. Go Chiefs!

I have always been a crafty person. I have always loved doing arts and crafts. It goes way back to summer camps. I remember friendship bracelets, perler beads, sand art jars, potholder looms, and plastic lace keychains. Summertime crafts were so much fun as a child. As a teen, I made jewelry with hemp, beads, and embroidery floss. In college, my aunt Hattie taught me how to sew. After college, I really wanted to learn to crochet and knit. I wanted to make a scarf and hat with yarn. I bought a beginner crochet kit and tried to teach myself. I tried many times to teach myself to crochet and failed. Heartbreak. I purchased knitting needles and tried to teach myself to knit. I failed again. More heartbreak. Then I bought a knitting loom and I had some success with the Knifty Knitter. Yay!! I made some scarves. I was quite proud of my creations made with the Knifty Knitter. This was as close to knitting as I was going to get. But, I still wanted to learn how to crochet.

It was May 2022 and I was sick with COVID. I was quarantined in our guest bedroom for one week. I got the idea to Google crochet classes near me. There were classes available at a local yarn shop. The idea of a yarn shop sounded really cool to me. I signed myself up for a private crochet lesson in June. My crochet dreams were finally coming true. In an hour, I learned to do the basics, make a chain, single crochet and double crochet. My instructor was great! She was just what I needed, patient. She was able to give me feedback about what I was doing right and wrong. I went home and practiced the crochet basics I learned in the class. Thank you Yarn Social. I’m forever grateful.

           During the next month I discovered some amazing crochet designers and instructors on YouTube. TL Yarn Crafts, Bella Coco, and Le Petit Saint Crochet are some of my favorite crocheters. I learned so much from their videos. They taught me about yarn types and weights, crochet hooks, stitches, how to read a pattern, and so much more. Also, I discovered my local library had tons of crochet books. At this point, I was falling in love with crochet and I learned that I could make anything out of yarn. I discovered amigurumi and I wanted to crochet forever. I love crochet.